Emily Buccilli

Aight so hear me out. I was in Ecuador scuba diving for long flaccid artifacts. When out of no where a giant aquatic anteater starting wrapping his tongue around my toes. I cunnt punched that biitch across the southern hemisphere, to the point where I pulled all the muscles in my asss cheeks, and both my legs. I swam back up to shore and made my way back to the U.S. where I was recommended to see Emily Buccillis. I went in a broken shell of what I formerly was, but thanks to Emily and her expert knowledge in all manners of physical therapy, I became the strongest version of myself yet. And now thanks to Emily, I can continue my quest of finding the worlds long list of lost flaccid artifacts, and enact my plan of bringing immeasurable joy to every person on this planet.